Passover
Passover is a fun holiday
for Jewish children.
It is fun
because we celebrate a time
when the angel of death
killed all the first born sons
of all our enemies.
That was neat!
When I was younger
I’d have friends over for Seder
at my mother’s house.
And I would tell them
that the blood of Christian babies
is baked into the matzah
to give it a special flavor
and a little color.
My mother used to get
very upset with me.
I think she got upset with me
because I lied.
The blood of Christian babies
was never in the matzah,
it was really in the brisket.
Tiny Dancer
Tiny dancer
Dance on my penis
Dance Dance Dance
My penis will be stage
And my belly button will be your audience
It will look on
As you dance
And applaud when the dance it over.
Except,
Belly buttons can’t applaud
Nor cheer
Nor hoot.
They can only make slurping sounds
When you fill them with liquid.
So,
Slurp, slurp, slurp
Is how my belly button
Will express
Appreciation
For your dance.
UTI
Urinary track infections
can be treated
by cranberry juice.
Cranberry juice
is yucky,
but it’s better
than
not being able to pee.
So drink up girls,
then
Pee Pee Pee.
Girl Parts/Boy Parts
Do you believe in love
I believe in love
That’s why I think
We should take the boy parts
And put them inside the girl parts
It’ll make a mess
But I think it’s best
Because I believe in love.
Jewish Penis
Jewish penis,
Why do you look so sad?
Is it because when you were very young
A doctor came
and chopped off the skin
that was on your head.
Is it because
you have never been touched
by a shiksa’s hand
or felt blonde hair
brush against you.
Or is it because
you are upset
about the world’s problems.
Like global warming
or the recent conviction
of Martha Stewart.
